ARC, 400 pages
Release Date: July 18, 2023
Published by: Bloomsbury YA
Read from: July 11- August 7, 2023
Stand-alone
Source: Publisher @ TLA (I received an ARC of this book from the publisher in exchange for a just and honest review. This did nothing to influence my review.)
TW: Recount of Death by OD, Addiction, Recount of someone in active addiction
For Readers Interested In: Realistic Fiction, Coming of Age, Romance, Mystery, YAA poignant and powerful story of a grieving girl willing to risk everything, perfect for fans of Robin Benway and Jandy Nelson.
On prom night, Hannah MacLaren sits in the headmaster’s office in her fanciest dress, soaked to the bone. She is in huge trouble after pulling the fire alarm right as the prom queen was about to be crowned. But Hannah had her reasons . . .
One year ago, her cousin Sophie, who was also her best friend and the person she loved most in the world, died of an overdose. Drowning in grief, Hannah became obsessed with one question: Who gave Sophie those pills? Who is refusing to give her family the closure they deserve?
Then she concocted a plan: enroll at her cousin’s fancy private school with a new look and a mouthful of lies, and finally uncover the truth.
But Hannah didn’t expect all the lines to blur. She didn’t expect Sophie’s friends to be so complicated. She didn’t expect to fall for her longtime enemy. Now, she must choose to either let herself really mourn Sophie and move on, or see her search through to its explosive end—even if it means destroying herself.
*MY THOUGHTS*
I know that many of you read those TWs and the synopsis and are wondering what I’m doing here. If you don’t know, my uncle had issues with addiction throughout his years and now as a grown woman, his child (my cousin) is going through the same things. It’s been pretty hard watching them both make the same mistakes, so for that reason I try not to watch anyone else make those mistakes. That includes those that are fictional. But with this book, Idk, I felt seen. Like the main character I felt mad. Mad at everyone who put them there. I just wanted to find the answers on what led them down this path. I related, so I read it. And though it was hard at times, I finished it.
This book was actually really incredible. I was hanging onto the edge of my seat trying to decipher the mystery as I read. I remember getting just as excited as she was every time a clue dropped. I wanted so bad for her to find peace with what happened with her cousin. I have also been a huge fan of Emery Lord’s writing style from the very beginning and I knew I was going to love this one. I loved the way she did the back then and now timeline too. I was never confused and it wasn’t at all hard to understand. I DID get confused when she started back on the timeline right after she pulled the alarm late in the story. Because I forgot that was an even that happened in the very beginning lol I had to put it down and remember what in the world was going on.
I did think the ending was too abrupt tho. It was like the entire book built up to this one event and then the person just turns up and then it’s over in a couple pages and then the book was completely over. I would have much rathered the plot to be a little more drawn out. Or if it had been pushed in a little from the end so it didn’t seem like it ended right when things were finally beginning. Does that make sense?
But as the answers came out, I didn’t really understand why she kept going and didn’t tell those people she knew she could trust. I thought it was too much for her to be trying to take care of everything on her own. She didn’t seem to want the help but she needed it. It was sad all the way around. I had all the feels for her, having almost been through this same thing.
I thought this book might have been triggering for me because it was about someone chasing the person who got their cousin into an active addiction, but surprisingly it didn’t. I’m thinking it’s because the MC wasn’t the one who had an addiction. I related so hard to this in many ways. Thinking you know someone better, thinking if you had done something differently you could have changed something. I know now that I’m an adult this fight wasn’t about me and what I could have done. I wish someone had told the MC a lot sooner. Could have saved her a bunch of pain.
Overall, I give this
