Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry by Joya Goffney

e-Audio, 09:39:51
Narrated by: Jordan Cobb
Release Date: May 4, 2021
Published by: HarperTeen
Read from: June 9-11, 2021
Stand-alone
Source: Netgalley Audio
TW: Mention of the n word (Never fully says it), Micro-aggressions, Colorism
For Readers Interested In: Contemporary,  Romance, Realistic Fiction, Stand-alones, YA

      Quinn keeps lists of everything—from the days she’s ugly cried, to “Things That I Would Never Admit Out Loud” and all the boys she’d like to kiss. Her lists keep her sane. By writing her fears on paper, she never has to face them in real life. That is, until her journal goes missing . . .
     Then an anonymous account posts one of her lists on Instagram for the whole school to see and blackmails her into facing seven of her greatest fears, or else her entire journal will go public. Quinn doesn’t know who to trust. Desperate, she teams up with Carter Bennett—the last known person to have her journal—in a race against time to track down the blackmailer.
     Together, they journey through everything Quinn’s been too afraid to face, and along the way, Quinn finds the courage to be honest, to live in the moment, and to fall in love.

*MY THOUGHTS*

When I read the synopsis for this and saw that the main character was a journal-er and she made lists all the time, I immediately added it to my TBR. AND she was Black. She reminded me so much of me. I needed to see what it was all about.

Quinn makes lists of everything. From people she wants to kiss to reasons she might ugly cry. She keeps them all in this one journal. But then one day said journal goes missing. And suddenly she’s getting messages from the person who took it, blackmailing her to spill her biggest secrets or they will take the whole thing public. Desperate she enlists the help of the person who had her journal, Carter. Can they find out whodunit before its too late?

The best thing about this book was the character growth. I spent most of this book really angry at Quinn. She was way too complacent about the freaking micro-aggressions from her “friends.” Yes, I know they are a real thing in mostly white spaces, but I was really disappointed in her how she reacted. But then I realized she was a kid and maybe was scared. *SPOILER* When she finally gives this up at the end of the book it makes me feel so much better. I was glad to see that she finally understood why it was so wrong. *END SPOILER The way she treated herself was terrible too. I hated that the people around her were colorizing her too. Her dad was a real piece of work in the beginning and I hearing it. I’m glad he grew some throughout this book as well.

As for the writing style, I thought it was really cute! The lists being incorporated were a great touch. To me it really felt like we were really in Quinn’s head every time we saw one. She made the lists while she was anxious or nervous and I saw them as a coping mechanism. Maybe because that’s what I use them for. And there was also the enemies to lovers aspect that showed up. I normally don’t like them, but this time, Idk, I really liked the love interest. I think because when they finally got together, he was so sweet to her. It stuck out to me because I thought it was so sweet he didn’t worry about showing his feelings.

And the setting was hella cool. I always LOVE finding books that are set in Texas. I love picking out places I recognize. And this one had one of the places I never thought I’d see in a book… Huntsville, Texas. Trust me when I say there’s nothing special there, except Sam Houston State University, my alma mater. And there was a list about Huntsville! (For the record, there IS an alarm that goes off when a prisoner escapes, but its at the prison, not the campus lol) U of H and Houston were also there, but I did NOT feel the way she portrayed them was great. She was showing her colorist ways again and again, it bothered me. Of all the things she took from her dad, that was a sucky quality to get.

As for the audio, I enjoyed it. I had to look up the narrator since the one from Netgalley had a computerized voice. Once I found out it was Jordan Cobb, I waited until my library had it too so I could also listen there. Cobb has done other audio narrations of books with Black leads that I LOVED, so I went to listen to a sample of this one as well. And if you’re wondering, you can add this to my “list” of my favorite narrators. (No pun intended lol)

This mostly stuck with me because I connected with the main character in so many ways. In others, I was not a fan of her. The back and forth I had with the characters and the fact that this was basically set in my backyard was what made me fall for this book. Add on the fact that there’s going to be a bomb ass narrator for it, it turned out pretty ok. Here’s to hoping the rest of Goffney’s books are just as intriguing!

Overall, I give this